Last year, I successfully completed Blog Every Day April, BEDA, for the very first time, after many years of attempts dating back about a decade.

This year… I don’t think I’ll make it.
I barely wanted to post today, on day 1.

My heart just isn’t in blogging anymore, and as more time passes between blog posts, I feel this mounting pressure to write something significant and worthy of my long absence. I keep paying for this blog domain and really hate giving up on or quitting things, so this isn’t a dramatic goodbye. It’s just a tempering of expectations.

I’ll try to blog more this month. Even though I do feel a lot of pressure to write something good on here, as I have grown and the cobwebs around here have grown, BEDA has always been a chance for me to let quality of writing take a break. Done is better than perfect, and published is better than good?

Maybe because I’m an extrovert who frequently finds my thoughts falling more neatly into place as I articulate them out loud, a year of not talking as much to different people has made my thoughts feel more jumbled, more halting, less nice to write out. There are a lot of feelings tumbling around in my brain but they don’t all feel like fully-formed thoughts just yet.

Maybe over this month, more of them will be.

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An unplanned habit I have been doing this year is creating monthly playlists of every song that randomly popped into my head. Here’s the playlist for March: