Unfortunately, I didn’t hit my Goodreads challenge this year as the second half of the year really got away from me and I was stuck on a book I wasn’t enjoying very much. (Still struggling with that old resolution to just stop reading books that kill my momentum like that…) But I really enjoyed many of the books I read this year and found myself really excited about reading the first half of the year, so hopefully I can put down the books I don’t enjoy and make more room for the ones that I do in 2023.
A few months ago, I scheduled my first cosplay photoshoot that wasn’t at a convention! (I haven’t been to a convention since before the pandemic.) I actually booked it with the same photographer who did the sole convention shoot I did, Michael Largé, because I liked his work, knew it would be great for the character I wanted to do, and also I was too scared to look for other photographers too okay I can admit it.
While some folks may be unsurprised to hear that I — a certified nerd — watch The Boys, others may be wondering how or why I sit through the graphic violence that I’m typically very averse to. Honestly, I wasn’t too interested in the initial promotions of the show. Superhero fatigue had started setting in, and I didn’t need more superhero media to get into while the MCU still had such a hold on me. But then! I saw a cosplayer in Starlight’s costume and I kind of immediately fell in love with the costume. Stars! Her name is Starlight? Did someone design this character for me? (I would soon learn… not really no haha) But I loved this costume and wanted to watch the show to see if I’d love the character enough to buy this costume and wear it myself.
Content/trigger warning: This post may be difficult or triggering to read it if you are struggling with your relationship with food or your body and contains mentions of disordered eating.
I grew up skinny, most of my family did. But I didn’t know how abnormal it was for me to be so skinny until a specific moment in the 5th grade. I loved my 5th grade teacher, but I still remember — 2 decades later — being at an ice cream social with teachers and classmates and hearing her tell me:
I wish I could eat that much ice cream and stay as skinny as you!
I remember feeling immediately embarrassed that I was eating so much ice cream, especially because I was apparently so skinny that no one expected me to eat this much ice cream. This moment also contributed to an unhealthy mentality I think I adopted later, wherein I felt a need to prove myself as a “skinny girl who can really eat!” but I’ll get to that later.
Now that I’m done, I still can’t quite believe I did it! I biked (over) 40 miles through all 5 boroughs of New York City with basically no cycling training at all! And survived to tell the tale!
Confession: Of the photos I got back from the official photographers, my posture is best in this one as I became increasingly deflated over the course of 40 miles and many hours 😅
For a while, I’ve been the kind of person who spends a lot of time thinking about how I’m feeling and feeling about how I’m thinking. (Long-time blog readers know this well.) So it was nearly impossible for me to not notice a distinct… shift… in both over the course of this pandemic so far. And I’ve spent a lot of time wondering how to put it into words so I can better understand it myself, likely thanks to 2 decades of making a habit of crystallizing my thoughts into blog posts for a handful of friends and an unknowable number of strangers to read.
Sip of Starrshine 