Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Dear Jeff,

I’m disappointed in myself for letting us drift apart the way we have. Even after I moved, I was able to talk to you about anything, any time. You always made time to see me when I would come back to visit, and I don’t think I ever communicated to you exactly how much I appreciated you taking the time to see me for a few hours, despite knowing that I would drag you into a Victoria’s Secret and then run away in an attempt to embarrass you publicly.

Sorry. Thanks for always indulging me in this silly game.

You would indulge me in long phone calls about nothing particularly important, and you would talk to me, really talk to me. About school, about your relationship, about struggling through life. You trusted me enough to tell me the kinds of things that I always hoped someone would trust me enough to tell me, even though I would never wish that kind of struggle upon you.

I can’t pinpoint when it started to happen, when we started to drift away. I do remember, however, our last phone conversation.
It was painful. We had nothing to say to each other.

There was so much silence between us.

I’m so sorry for that conversation. I wish that it wasn’t like this between the two of us. I still always want to tell you when big things happen in my life but I just can’t help but feel like you don’t care as much as you used to. Don’t feel bad if you don’t. I haven’t been a very big part of your life in years, so there is no reason for you to care as much as you used to.

I just want you to know that I still love you very much, as you remain one of my dearest friends. Although it’s unlikely, I hope we don’t have so much silence between us in the future.

I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Love always,

Starr

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