Embarrassingly Strange Dreams

I have a whole post coming up soon about my poor sleep habits (with some musings that will lead to my thinking that I might have some kind of disorder, in typical pre-med / psychology major fashion).

I slept through my first hour of work and also through my hour of lunch break.

During this lunch break, I had a freaky-deaky dream.

It starts with Watson inviting me along to see some kind of really cool engineering thing. I’m not sure why I go, because we have to go to New York City, and that means a 4 hour bus ride. I have places to be in the afternoon! (Apparently, this dream occurs TODAY, because I’m worried about my Thursday afternoon classes and meetings.) Maybe it’s the guilt I’m still feeling from being too passed out on Friday to hang out with Watson, and also my conscious desire to try to be more spontaneous. Next thing I know, I end up in the city. (The bus ride seems to not have made the cut for this dream sequence.)

This amazing feat of engineering was done by a girl. I remember this because I had a moment of “Oh, how I wish I was good at engineering and then I could really represent us women in the field like this girl here is doing” or something like that. She was very nice.

Then, the dream kind of transitioned into… weirdness. Victoria was there at this point, and there was some kind of… flashmob thing. I think it was my subconscious remembering Victoria’s “Gangnam Style”-ness and also Watson’s performances from high school. It was a highly choreographed performance, with costumes and everything. (Watson, you were wearing a really big afro wig… and like, a sumo thing? Victoria, you were wearing a white tank but like super sparkly pants.) (I have no explanation for this right now.) Not only were you guys doing your flashmob, it was like… a joint flashmob? With this other group that was in uniform. (Looked like Air Force uniforms…?) It was a good time though.

It was getting late, though, so I left my post by some random fountain (Why was I standing by a fountain? Why not?) and went to try to find a bus that was leaving earlier. The bus I came in on (a Megabus, mind you) was leaving at 4:57 PM (exactly) and it was 4:00. I wanted to get going as soon as possible. I stopped by a little street stand where a Chinese man was selling 2 things: packs of toilet paper and T-shirts. I’m assuming the toilet paper is because I got a text today about bringing toilet paper to a meeting for an icebreaker; I remember thinking, “What a coincidence. I don’t need the TP anymore, but maybe I should buy some in case, you can’t ever have too much, right?” I didn’t end up buying any, I didn’t have my wallet on me. This was something I realized would hinder my getting on a different bus. I asked in Mandarin if he saw my bus, resigned to being able to get on my bus the same way I did to get to Manhattan. I asked him this while staring at my bus, though. I don’t really know what was happening.


OKAY THEN there was a second dream. (You know how it is with those multiple dreams.) This is where the dream got real weird. For those of you who don’t follow me on Tumblr, I really love the ABC show Once Upon a Time.

This is the first time that the show has crossed over into my dream world. I was maybe on this bus? It was kind of like an RV, though. An RV that was furnished like a college dorm/apartment. I was definitely on this RV with Regina Mills, aka the Evil Queen, as played by Lana Parilla on Once Upon a Time. She was in full Evil Queen attire.

Lana Parilla as Evil Queen Regina from OUaT

So Regina is there and I know other characters were there. I kind of want to say Red was there? Maybe Aurora? Not really sure. Mary Margaret was there, though.

Anyway. Something happens. I can’t quite remember what it is, but it was something bad and I was responsible. I did something to Regina and she was pissed. (And of course, she’s still pissed at Mary Margaret aka Snow White.) A tornado picks up our little RV and tosses us around because she made it. She made some kind of comment about, “Is this how your home is furnished, also?" I was you know, in a corner ducking for shelter, scared out of my mind that Regina made one of my biggest fears come true. I answer her something something… and then she tells me that it’s a shame.
It’s a shame that this freakish weather causes a tornado that takes me out and an earthquake right near my hometown that destroys my home.

Except it’s not really my home. 
David (Prince Charming) lives there with Henry and I see them getting buried under their house.

I’m sad.
Regina is delighted with my sadness.


My alarm rings.

What the heck. I slap myself to a) wake myself up and b) because it’s ridiculous that I had a OUaT-themed dream.

Comedy Disaster

This past Thursday, we had our annual fall comedy show, SEE. We had an unusual two opening acts – Jermaine Fowler and Michael Ian Black –  and a headliner that I wasn’t very excited about: Craig Robinson.

Allow me to set the scene just a smidge. The past 3 years, I’ve absolutely loved our fall comedy show. My first one featured Russell Peters, who was then basically the only stand-up comic that I was really familiar with. Kevin Nealon opened for him, and he’s a legend in his own right. My sophomore year, Demetri Martin was fantastic and Mike Birbiglia, the opening act, was really hilarious. SEE does a good job of finding people who have different styles of comedy. Last year, we had Aziz Ansari, and he is sooooo funny. I was really happy with our comedy lineups for my first three years, so I was really eagerly anticipating the announcement of our comic for this year. (Fingers were crossed for Donald Glover!) They announced him late, but then we finally got it.

Craig Robinson. With Jermaine Fowler and Michael Ian Black opening.

So, I have never really seen anything that Craig Robinson has been in. I don’t watch The Office much at all, and I haven’t really seen the movies that he’s been in. (No, I haven’t seen Pineapple Express.) I was considering not going at all, but I’m extremely sentimental, so I decided I did have to go to my final homecoming show. Plus, my friend twisted my leg, and I really only get to see him at this show once a year. Although I was worried that the tickets would be sold out, I had no trouble at all securing my seat.

I saw why when I arrived.

Since I’m not a big fan of Craig, and I didn’t know our openers at all, I opted not to wait in line as soon as I got out of work. Doors opened at 6:30, so I could’ve head there straightaway, but I decided to put my things down and eat dinner first. I headed over around 7, expecting to see the usual line winding around the building and down the street since I had arrived after doors opened.
This was false. I was able to wait near the front, with my friend saving my place having only arrived a few minutes before me. The doors hadn’t been open yet, and they didn’t open for another 15 minutes. (Fail #1: Doors opened 45 minutes late.) I didn’t think much of it, it just meant that I didn’t have to wait that long despite coming to wait in line relatively late.

When I was seated and the show started, I realized that… the arena was really empty. Eerily so. The shows I had attended in previous years were always sold-out. The floor seats, that are nearer the talent and cost a little more, were only half full. The other seats were even more pitifully empty. (Fail #2: Poor audience attendance. This reflects 2 sub-fails: Fail#2a: Poor gauging of what the student body wanted, and Fail #2b: Poor marketing efforts.)

Jermaine Fowler was really funny though. He has that casual style of humor that reminds you of that one friend you have who is simply hilarious. Some people complained that he wasn’t a true stand-up comedian, but I thoroughly enjoyed his act. Very funny, plus he’s from this area, so he had some sort of inside jokes with this audience.

Michael Ian Black was also funny. His style of humor was much drier, and more stand-up style. I wasn’t a big fan at the beginning, because his humor was kind of offending me… Making fun of Jermaine’s family, getting a bit too much into his race jokes… But in the end, I enjoyed his set.

Then Jermaine Fowler told us another story while Craig Robinson’s band set up. This surprised me. I didn’t realize Craig Robinson would be bringing a band out, but looking back at the event page, it does say that he will be providing us with “lyrical humor”. So, that wasn’t a fail there.

The band started to play, which was a bit overwhelming for me. (Fail #3: Audio for the band was way too loud.) They were good, though, and I felt very ready to laugh my socks off. The keyboardist was really cool and there were a few sax and guitar solos. Good stuff.

FINALLY. Craig Robinson comes out, carrying half a case of water bottles. (That was a little weird XD) He sat at the keyboard and started playing…
… and playing…
… and playing…
His intro for himself seemed to drag out. He wasn’t singing or talking much. It was a stark contrast from Bo Burnham’s mantra of “every moment is an opportunity for comedy!”

Craig finally asks us if we’re ready to party. (Yes? Are you ready after your 5 minute keyboard intro?) Then he has a few people from the floor storm the stage. (Does he think this is a concert…? He knows he’s not Jay-Z, right?) He doesn’t let them sit back down, either.

“I’ma f*** y’all like Sandusky!” (Fail #4: This. Line. Right. Here.)
This was one of the first things he said to us. This joke is so grossly inappropriate, I actually almost walked out when he made it. It’s not a one-liner. If you are going to make a joke like this, there needs to be some kind of setup. If he had used his 5 minutes to set up rather than to derp on the keyboard, maybe I would’ve been slightly less offended.

He just keeps going with some singing, on occasion. But in general, he didn’t really sing, he didn’t make any jokes. He summoned a girl to the stage by saying, “Come here, big titties.” (Fail #5: That line.) One of his “bits” was going up to a guy near the stage and then repeatedly pelvic thrusting him, all the while saying “I put my d*ck in your face, I put my d*ck in your face, I put my d*ck in your face.” (Fail #6: Um… humping a dude’s face?) I later found out what he brought out the water bottles for…? He chucked them into the audience. Luckily for him, there were plenty of empty sections and he seemed to be aiming for those. (… I hope he was.) (Fail #7: Endangering us if he wasn’t aiming for those empty sections…) He also sprayed that front section with his water bottle. (Fail #8: Why do people do this. Also, we weren’t outdoors.)

It was terrible. About 15 minutes in, people started walking out.
In droves.

I would turn around to see about 20 people at a time leaving. With an already half-empty arena, this steady stream of people walking out was super sad. I saw our student organizers looking really sad about it. They kept turning on the house lights… which was sad because the arena kept getting emptier and emptier.

A little bit over an hour in, he speaks again, “Who’s having fun here tonight?”
… no one.
He tries again, “Who here feels cheated?”
Hands up all around. My hand shot up.

Then he walked off the stage.
He was supposed to go for another half hour.

I have a suspicion that he may have been too drunk for his gig. Michael Ian Black made a joke about Craig Robinson and his band bringing vodka and cranberry juice backstage and everyone getting drunk together. I don’t take everything that comedians say for a bit as truth, but it was making sense. Craig was slurring words, his motion was slightly uncoordinated.

I hope the organizers are able to get their money back, because if he was performing drunk, I think that’s a violation of contract. Also, he ended prematurely. (Although, I think they told him to do so. Because it was terrible.)

All in all, it was the most disappointing show ever. I almost walked out multiple times. I have never been so let down by a comedian at this school, and I’ve seen so many of them.

Waiting for a formal response from the organizers.

MCAT Scores & Identity Crises

The AAMC decided to release my MCAT score in the middle of my first round of midterms. I found out the score was being released via a text from a friend. "Any good news for me? :)"
… and I was so enjoying my day, too.

I got the score I had been getting on my practice exams. I improved from my previous score by 5 points. I wasn’t surprised by my score, nor was I crushed and convinced that it was time to activate Plan B, abandoning my ambitions to pursue medicine.

I accepted my score. I sort of accepted that somehow I lost a point since last time on my essay, the easiest part to me.
And I was so sorely disappointed.

It’s a good enough score to apply next year.
Looking at just numbers, there are a few schools I would be happy at that I stand a shot at getting into. I won’t be a shoo-in or their top pick, but I have a chance.

And yet.
I’m really disappointed with myself. I really wanted my MCAT score to go above and beyond to make up for my average GPA. Average MCAT, average GPA.

I have a hard time accepting that I’m just average.
I spent my younger years being super duper exceptional. I was a gold medal taekwondo tot. I sang the only solo given in choir. I was the equivalent of the prima ballerina at Chinese school ballet. I was the best student in my class my FAR.

Now, I’m supposed to accept being just average? Slightly above average?
I’ve surrounded myself with people who are really exceptional. Smart, athletic, beautiful, kind, ambitious, talented people with whom I am really entitled to be friends.
I’m starting to feel like they’re not my peers anymore. I cannot compare my achievements with theirs anymore. They have nothing to congratulate me on when I am congratulating them.
“Congratulations on this terrific accomplishment!” I’ll say.
”Congratulations on being adequately above average?”

I know I shouldn’t be as bummed as I am. I can apply to medical school. I made progress. My family was proud of me. My pre-health advisors congratulated me on my score. (I didn’t realize they would get my score, or that they would get it so soon.)
It’s not bad.
I’m just used to more. I’ve been spoiled by my own previously-set standards for achievement.

I’m used to winning gold, and I’m barely scraping by for bronze. Yes, I’m still medaling, but you know bronze doesn’t taste the same as gold.

Turkey Dive

Let’s review how Thanksgiving weekend was, shall we?

[ Wednesday ]
So… I woke up at a decent hour because I didn’t have lab, dragged myself to chem, and went to the library to make copies of a psych journal. (Despite having to pay for copies, I loved how scholarly I felt.)  Went to lunch, frantically packed, and went home, where I did a whole lot of nothing and it was fantastic.

[ Thursday ]
We went to the Philips’ house for Thanksgiving lunch and it was de-freaking-licious. Making everything from scratch really does make a difference. I don’t know if I can ever settle for boxed stuffing mix ever again. My only regret is eating way too fast (because I was kind of famished) and not being able to eat more. So sad, because the food was really amazing amazing. It was nice of Lynne to invite us over so our families could eat together while the rest of our respective families were away. We had a pretty chill dinner since we had already feasted for lunch and the rest of the day was an unproductive blur.


[ Friday ]
Woke up at 4 to take Stone and Angela Black Friday shopping, but we had some setbacks, so shopping didn’t really start until 5:30. Got some earphones at RadioShack and then headed to the mall.
Hit up JCPenney to pick up my Secret Santa gift, but was not really feeling the clothes or shoes. (I think I got all the girly shopping desires out last week, thank goodness.) I lost all motivation to shop when I got to H&M and tried on these dresses:

Seem harmless enough, right? WRONG. The dresses tried to kill me. It was fine when I was trying them on, since it was like “Fashion Finds $5” so I figured, “Why not, it’s Black Friday, right?” Not right. I almost had to rip the dresses to get out of them, I really did. There was a desperate moment where it looked like the dresses had to rip or my shoulders had to dislocate but then I got out and I could breathe and all was well in the world again.
Except I didn’t want to shop anymore.
Because I had a near-death experience with these dresses.

Anyhow, finished up shopping and went home where I had brunch and then fell asleep. I went to take a nap at 11:30, set my alarm for 1:30, woke up at… 6:00. My dad came in to wake me and I asked him, “Why is it dark outside?” “Because it’s dinner time.” “… WHAT.” I had so much planned for Friday! At least some productive procrastination?? Nope, I was passed out for almost 7 hours and got nothing done.

We had hot pot for dinner though! Delicious. Absolutely love it. That used to be our go-to meal for Thanksgiving.

We watched Knight and Day and Flipped. I love Tom Cruise. I always have and you know, just because his beliefs are different from mine doesn’t make him any less handsome. He’s definitely gotten a bit older, but he is still pretty charming and swoon-worthy, in my opinion. Callan McAuliffe looks like a younger, more handsome, Australian version of Zac Efron. His American debut film was so sweet, I absolutely adored it. A fantastic family film about coming of age and love and family and life. I really liked it.

[ Saturday ]

What did I do on Saturday… I woke up, went to pick up my boot that I left at shoe repair a month ago, it was not fixed yet… so I came back home. Tried to work on my 7-page paper but that was a fail. Got a new Tumblr theme that I’m rather fond of, yes. Had some pretty yummy food again and then we went off to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. We had some SNAFUs trying to find a showing that wasn’t sold old or ridiculously late, but we finally got seated at 10:50 (2 hours later than we had intended to go ><). I was really excited when the opening theme played because I really did grow up with the books, the films, and the cast, so it was an important movie for me. For my dad and brother, probably not as much. (Probably.) I was absolutely infuriated when the screen went black as the trio was sneaking into the Ministry of Magic. Audio was fine, but we couldn’t see anything. To make matters worse, the screen then turned magenta, as if the person at the project was mocking the audience. We had a loud audience, so there was a lot of “OH HAYLL NO” going on. I wish they would rewind but of course they didn’t, so I don’t know what I was supposed to be looking at. I was okay since I read the books, but my brother got lost at that point. In any case, I was quite satisfied because of my emotional attachment to the franchise, but my dad seemed a lot less impressed than I was.

[ Sunday ]

Woke up, kind of got to the second page of my paper (which needed to be at least 7 pages long, I remind you) ate some food, didn’t do much else. Picked up my brother from soccer around 3. Er… yeah. Ate more hot pot! Got stuck on I-95 for an hour while trying to get back to school (and I thought I was making really good time, too) and then stayed up to write my paper.


And now it’s today. We have 2 weeks of classes and a week of finals left.
Things are going to be difficult because I’ve been listening to holiday music ALL WEEKEND and it was fantastic but I can’t do anything school-productive while I’m listening to holiday music. I can cook and clean and decorate, but I cannot do schoolwork. Holiday cheer is not conducive to work, it seems.

How were your holidays?

I need some holiday cheer…

I really want to start playing my holiday playlist right now, but I tried that on Tuesday and Wednesday and it just didn’t feel right. I know it’s a week early, so it feels wrong to be listening to “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” when it’s not yet.

I want to hear holiday songs on the radio.
I want to start decorating everything in red & gold, or blue & silver. (I usually tend towards red & gold because it’s warmer.)
I want to watch holiday specials like “A Charlie Brown Christmas” on TV.
I want to drive past houses all decorated with lights.
I want to wish desperately for snow.

Ahh, I'd love to spend my favorite season in my favorite city.

I’m already in holiday mode.
Work? Nah.
Play? BRING IT.

Also, I feel kind of like shopping. I’m not really the kind of girl who enjoys shopping, but lately I’ve been feeling so girly. I want to buy makeup, for goodness sake. I don’t wear makeup except for the times I did stuff onstage, so if I buy makeup, I’ll most likely wear it for a day (maybe two) and then remember how grueling it is to have to put on my face every day. I am far too lazy to go through the full routine, and knowing me, I would have to go all or nothing.

Is it Thanksgiving yet?
Better yet, is it winter break yet?

I want to see HP7 but I don’t want to go until the frenzy dies down a bit.

You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear
Voices singing, “Let’s be jolly, deck the halls with boughs of holly!