Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Dear Stone,

It is similarly not easy being my little brother. You had to kind of live in my shadow for a while, and I know that. Although I give you grief about doing soccer when I was the person who asked to do it, I’m glad you have soccer. It was the first thing that was all yours where not only were you no longer “Starr’s brother”, but I became “Stone’s sister”. I remember seeing you relish the first time someone called me that.

I’m glad you’re so popular at school. You deserve that. I tried to force nerd-dom onto you, but you deserve friends and popularity. I just hope you continue to make good choices. I can’t tell you how proud I was when you told me (after I pestered you about it for weeks) that you didn’t attend prom your junior year because you didn’t want to drink but you knew that your friends who had invited you to prom would be drinking. (I hope there was no drinking at prom this year.) (Also, no drinking while you’re at Senior Week, k?)

I hope that you push yourself to be the best possible version of yourself. That’s why I pushed you into nerd-dom. It’s hard to jump higher when the bar isn’t constantly being set higher, and I know that you’re sometimes very influenced by your peers. I wanted you to value people who value their educations.

I am so proud of you and I know you’ll keep making me proud. I’ll try really hard not to be doing embarrassing around your friends but sometimes I just can’t help it, you know? 😛

姐姐, which I haven’t heard you call me in years

Stone and I on graduation day
Stone and I on graduation day

P.S. Maybe think about changing your Twitter handle. It’s embarrassing for me, I don’t understand how it’s not similarly or more embarrassing for you.

Day 3 – Your Parents

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know being my parents hasn’t been easy since I hit my pre-teen days and kind of never looked back. It’s been strange accepting that, not only was I imperfect contrary to what you had told me, but you were imperfect, too.

Coming to terms with your flaws has been maybe more difficult than coming to terms with my own. Because I can always try to change mine, but I can’t change you.

I love you both. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, at the very least the intention behind it.

I don’t know why I get so angry when we have our “discussions”. Maybe it’s because I put these expectations on you to say what I wanted to hear or to understand me.

I am really sorry that we aren’t closer. Our relationship isn’t ideal but I’m happy to have you both as my parents, and I look forward to repairing what I’ve broken.

Your daughter, 思思

Mom and I on graduation day
Mom and I on graduation day
Dad and I on graduation day
Dad and I on graduation day

Day 2 — Your crush

(For the sake of making this a little interesting and not dedicating half my letters to my boyfriend, this will be someone else.)
(For the sake of making this extra fun… well, you’ll see.)

Dear Colin,

I don’t know which came first – my overinvestment in Once Upon a Time or the first promotional photos of Killian Jones, but I miss seeing you on Sunday evenings.
And on Hulu when I felt like rewatching/catching up on an episode.
And on the #ouat tag on Tumblr that is getting a bit annoying so I’ve stopped checking in on that.
And also on the #killianjones tag.

It is embarrassing how much I loved seeing you with Sara Bolger in that one episode of The Tudors, specifically the clip on Youtube that I can’t watch at work because I dissolve into a sad mess when I do.

In typical teen girl fashion, I like that you’re in a band. I don’t know, I like it. I don’t think I need to justify this.

In any case, please continue to be great. If you ever reply to one of my tweets, please know that I’d be giddy all day as a result.


Day 1 — Your best friend

Dear BFF,

I can’t remember the last time I had a true best friend… I might have been 5 years old? (Hey Kyung!) Perhaps I can chalk it up to a poor working definition of “best friend”. A best friend should be someone that knows you at least as well as you know yourself, perhaps even better. A best friend should be someone to whom you can tell anything and everything. A best friend should be someone you can always call up to have fun, a guaranteed good time.

Were my expectations too high for a best friend? I can’t think of anyone who fulfills all 3 of these components that are likely only a part of my convoluted definition of “best friend”.
Except you.

I have been able to tell you everything. It is such a relief to have someone besides the empty abyss of anonymous blog space to tell my secrets to. It has been such a joy to have you light up at hearing about the small scenes that make up my day. It has been lifesaving to have somebody’s shoulder to cry on.

I hope I don’t take advantage of this, but I am so glad for someone to cry around without fear of judgement or withdrawal. You are the first person to hold me while I cry, to wipe tears off my face, as clichéd as it is.

The experiences I have with you are all great memories. You helped me try new things; I helped you try new things. I always know that if I spend my time with you, I’ll enjoy it. That has been surprisingly tricky to find in a lot of people. Maybe I’m the kind of person who really only makes circumstantial/situational friends; when I take people out of their “designated” situations, I don’t like it and I don’t have fun.

So thank you for teaching me how to completely open up to another person for the first time since I was about 3 feet tall.*

Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.


P.S. *Speaking of Kyung, the story of my first best friend that my mom tells me is that I hated her when I met her. She was giving me a run for my money as far as being the cutest or the smartest or the most Asian. I purportedly went home absolutely furious with this new girl after her first day of school.

All I remember is Kyung teaching me how to play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and “London Bridge” on a toy piano, having a love for Winnie the Pooh, and taking me swimming for one of the first times I had ever gone.

30 Day Letter Challenge

I was stalking around on Mary‘s blog because she posts infrequently but she writes beautifully. She did this challenge a while ago. Since I currently hate everything, I figured it would be a nice little challenge to do.

I might choose not to do some at my own discretion. I hope no one will be on the edge of his/her seat waiting for those letters if that should happen.

Day 1 — Your best friend
Day 2 — Your crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to (coming soon)
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror