2021 Resolutions

Now that we have reflected on 2020, and taken out much of our frustration with the world on this year that held so much promise (I really was looking forward to deals on Lasik…), it’s time to look forward towards 2021, stretching out before us.

This year, I feel a lot less anticipation for the new year and the fresh start that is promises to bring. Maybe because I’ve been so worn down by the previous year, or maybe because I know deep down that the stresses of 2020 not only didn’t magically disappear when the clock struck midnight but are liable to stick around for much of, if not all of, 2021.

Still. I was forced to spend a lot of time with myself, in my home, confronted with my poor habits and my unmet good intentions. It was a case scenario I always feared as an extrovert: without social interactions to keep me lifted and energized, I would deflate and collapse into a shell of myself. During that time, I saw much room for improvement.

Resolutions for Your Best New Year |

The resolutions for this year aren’t going to be as ambitious as they were in past years, I think. Concrete ones will be very specific and more realistic for me to achieve, given how many years several of them have appeared on this blog. To be honest, I haven’t spent as much time thinking about these as I have in years past, and I’m not too bothered about it. My resolutions have always been an opportunity for me to reframe my approach to my habits and a time for me to set the intention of what kind of person I want to be. So many goals in my previous resolutions had, knowingly or not, dependencies that were outside of my control. My goals to explore the city more, during a year when I could not leave my apartment? Or to just invite people into my home more, during a year when indoor gatherings were lethal? I didn’t know. And so, as a result, my resolutions this year are fewer and more restrained. I am not pushing myself too hard in 2021. We all need and deserve some rest this year, I think.

Read More »

2020 Resolutions

We made it to a new decade! Send me your discount codes and deals for laser eye surgery, I am prepared for 2020 jokes for the next 366 days.

This also means it’s that time again! As December winds down, I actually start feeling a bit of pressure to be intentional with my annual goals, but I also really look forward to it. I think it’s because I am taking the time to think about what kind of person I want to be and what specific ways I can become that person, even if some of the changes are harder to quantify. While I don’t have a great track record of accomplishing many of my resolutions, I like setting them at the beginning of the year as a way to guide my intentions for the rest of the year, to gently nudge myself towards who I want to be.

Image result for 2020 resolutions"

I really liked my resolutions from last year, even though I wasn’t great about keeping them, so a lot of them will carry over this year. I was also really inspired by Rachel Miller‘s Q4 resolutions and will be incorporating many of those as goals for the year as well.

2019 was such a big year for me, but with so much in transition, I am ready for take on 2020 with a lot more intention. There are a few big themes for my resolutions this year:

Improve my relationships. 2019 was a big year for my relationship with my significant other, and I want to continue working on that relationship as we come up on one year of marriage. Being very focused on that relationship did come at the expense of many of my other relationships, especially because I moved away from my friends and family that I was spending time with. I’d like to shift some of my relational energy back to my network. I also want to be able to let go of grudges and people who have drifted out of my life for one reason or another.

Let myself feel at home in New York. Partly because I was so busy with the wedding and maybe partly because I unconsciously was afraid to put down roots in case something happened and I would have to leave, I haven’t really felt like I have become a New York resident. I still have boxes! My dressers are still in the state they were when I hurriedly threw clothing into them so that I could try to reduce the number of  boxes. We have yet to replace the furniture that was damaged during our move. And I haven’t done most of the things I was so excited to do upon moving here. Even little things like not scheduling doctor’s appointments here yet (which is something I often advise people to do, so I’m a hypocrite for not doing so as well). That changes this year, and it will require a lot of energy and effort but it changes this year.

Of course, improving myself is the big theme of all resolutions and goals, isn’t it? I am going to work on things that will make me healthier physically but also mentally. Not get in my way so much. Not be so afraid of failing… or of succeeding? Not letting my need for control be a facet of my personality.

So enough prattling, here we go!

Read More »

2019 Resolutions

Where would this blog be without my ambitious annual resolutions posts? As much pressure as I put on myself with both publishing them and trying to keep them, I truly do look forward to writing them and love looking back on them.

With the setbacks I dealt with this year, it was very disheartening to realize I was not keeping my resolutions that I was so excited about at the beginning of the year. Still, in light of all the good that happened, despite all the bad, I have to just dust myself off and try again.

Here’s the short and simple list of resolutions I will be keeping in 2019, with my long-winded explanations to come in a follow-up post later this month. I’ll try update this list at the end of year to see how I did with these resolutions, too!

(Note: I would like to add a little more polish to this post as well, so stay tuned for some spiffing up here and there.)Read More »

2018 Resolutions

It may be halfway through January already (?!) but it’s never too late to set resolutions and intentions for the year! My most cumbersome but most personally valuable posts on this blog are my beginning- and end-of-year blogs, with the resolutions post kicking off the year with ways I can bring myself closer to the person I want to be.

2018 Resolutions: photo featuring a hand holding a sparkler above water

Last year’s resolutions focused a lot around making concrete plans to do things that I’ve been making resolutions for over the past several years. I didn’t check all those boxes off, but I know that specific goals are easier for me to achieve than vague ones. By the end of 2017, I found myself formulating  new concrete goals, some of which were not even considerations at the beginning of the year. Here are the ways I aim to improve myself in 2018…Read More »

Resolutions 2017 Check-In

Happy Independence Day, to those celebrating the Fourth of July! Please be sure to observe this holiday safely, as it is a very scary holiday for many of our loved ones, like vets and pets. 

As strange as it seems, we have officially passed the halfway mark of the year. I thought now would be a good time to check in on some of my resolutions, especially because I specifically wanted to check in and adjust some of the goals I set in January at this time.

Let’s start with the concrete resolutions:

I resolve to read at least 15 books in 2017, as I believe I can find the time to read more than one book per month given my success this past year.

According to Goodreads, I am on track to meet this goal, as I am currently working my way through my 12th book this year. I was actually a little bit concerned about reaching my reading goal because I spent so much of the first half of the year working laboriously through the A Song of Ice and Fire series. Each volume is so thick and took me so long to read that I was worried I’d fall behind and spend most of the year reading them. I forgot how voraciously I read when I’m really engrossed in a serial story like Martin’s!

I resolve to maintain this schedule. At the very least, I am trying to go one full calendar year on this schedule, so let’s hope I make it to February!

With the exception of my mental health hiatus, I haven’t done too badly with the schedule this year! And I did make it to February and the full calendar year of posting on schedule, so I’m really glad for that. I’m jumping back into the posting schedule right now and I hope I can stick with it.

I resolve to put my pride aside and seek help learning to lift, whether that means asking one of my friends/coworkers to teach me or investing in a personal trainer.
* Halfway through the year, I’d like to have a specific goal weight to be lifting.

Ah, the resolution that I knew would give me trouble. I haven’t quite gotten around to hiring a personal trainer yet, but I think it’s because I’ve been adjusting this goal mentally. I am much more interested in just… doing good form push-ups than lifting a barbell right now, so I’ve shifted my energy over to that as my goal. I am still strength-training, and that does involve weights, and I do often have people helping me check my form, but lifting as a primary strength-training activity is no longer my goal.

I resolve to run one mile, without stopping or walking.
* Halfway through the year, I’d like to have a specific time to be running.

I actually achieved this a few months ago! I don’t run very often, and given that I wanted to increase my stamina via cardio, I do need to run more. However, back in March, I managed to run an entire mile without stopping to walk, and that was a huge accomplishment for me, even though it took me almost a full 10 minutes (literally it took me 9:59?). Then, I did it again just a few days later, and I was faster then. It was one of the little ways I could feel myself getting into better shape. Unfortunately, I had a small hiccup in my fitness routine (wherein… I wasn’t doing much of it at all…), so I probably cannot currently run an entire mile without stopping. I’ll have to get back to it but I think I want to put a realistic goal of an 8-minute mile and a more ambitious goal of 7 minutes? (The 8-minute mile, while not particularly impressive, would be a big feat for me, so that’s what I’ll be aiming for!)

I resolve to be able to perform a full split.

OOPS I have definitely dropped the ball on this one. While I stretch when I work out and feel myself getting a little more flexible, I am not in splits territory at all yet, so I need to refocus on this goal so it doesn’t get left in the dust for another year.

I resolve to cosplay at a fan convention this year.

I DID THIS! My AwesomeCon recaps are coming right after this, so stay tuned for those, but I am so so so happy to have accomplished this. It was even better than I thought it would be.

I resolve to give a present a full-length talk to a large tech audience.

This is going to be really tricky. I still don’t know what subjects I am confident enough to talk about to a tech audience for an hour. It would be good for me to try to figure this out, as I really would like to start speaking at tech events more. However, this was a super ambitious goal so I’m not extremely confident I’ll achieve it by the end of this year.

I resolve to buy lunch no more than twice during the work week and dinner no more than three times a week – including weekends. I also resolve to have at least one or two evenings per workweek where I am home by 6PM.

Admittedly, this has not been going great. I can only chalk it up to poor planning, as far as the meals go, as well as just a bit of a lack of energy after a long work day and a hard workout. I’ve started getting myself back on track with this lately, so hopefully things will be better for the second half of the year! However, I am staying home more days this year, and I’m really relishing it. While I don’t come home at 6PM very often, as I try to put in a few extra hours when I am able so I can take other time off, it is still nice to come home from work, instead of stopping at another event first. The FOMO is slowly fading away.

I resolve to not let my piles live in my home for longer than one week at a time, even more preferably no more than four days.

Okay so… this has kind of been a failure, my piles have gotten a bit out of control. I plan to take advantage of the federal holiday today and sort them out, and I really hope I am able to follow through with that plan. I still have a pile (contained in a storage box) of my birthday party supplies that I really need to sort! And I don’t want to talk about my clothing pile, aka The Pile. Ahhhh I need to get that sorted out, it stresses me out.

… and that wraps up the concrete resolutions! You know, I’m doing better on these than I thought I would be, and I think that this post is just what I needed to kick my butt into gear to try to achieve the rest of them before the year is over.

Now, onto those wibbly-wobbly abstract resolutions:

I resolve to push myself to continue trying, even when I am not improving as quickly as I’d like, and to be more strategic so that I can improve faster.

Sigh… I don’t think I’ve really been pushing myself to do this, and it’s disappointing to acknowledge and admit that. I push myself with fitness now, but I don’t think that’s any excuse for me to not push myself in other areas of my life. It seems like it is, because I am tired afterward, but it’s not. I need to do better here.

I resolve to work to improve the quality of the art I put into the world as a service to myself and to others.

Unfortunately, I haven’t really felt like I’ve done this either? What are the arts I’m even putting out into the world? (I haven’t gone to karaoke at all in 2017?!) This is something I don’t know how I feel about, but it’s not a good feeling, so I will have to take some time to think about how I can turn this one around.

I resolve to make my health a priority by scheduling healthcare appointments with the necessary providers when needed and for checkups.

2017 is the first year I’ve been fully in charge of my own healthcare, having switched over to my employer insurance and getting off my family plan. But I have tried to take this in stride and this has meant a lot of doctor’s appointments. Luckily, nothing bad so far! A lot of follow-ups but that’s not bad either. I am just making sure I’m healthy from a lot of different perspectives. I do have some concerns and I’m not quite sure how I’ll feel if I get those checked and followed-up and there isn’t something diagnosable. It just means… I feel unwell and the doctor can’t tell me how to feel better? But there is nothing serious going on, it’s just small visits and a lot of little bills. I still procrastinate scheduling things (and sometimes paying the bills) for days or weeks but, in general, this has been a bigger priority for me.

I resolve to make myself heard when necessary and not to let potential discomfort and disagreement prevent me from having a voice.

This is so hard. I found myself facing how hard it is yesterday at work, because things were being said that I wasn’t comfortable with and I had to be really un-fun to address it. In the workplace is the hardest place to do this, and unfortunately it just seems to be getting harder. I’m also trying to do this in little ways like speaking up when I’m at a restaurant and the food is straight-up bad, or if someone shoves past me in a line. A lot of times when things like the latter happen, I am too shocked to say something fast enough, but I am working on voicing it. (So that lady who used two hands to push me aside on the escalator the other day? I have words for you!)

… the abstract goals are the hard ones. Because it’s hard to check them off a list on December 31, but it’s very easy to feel that you haven’t achieved them at all. Still, I make them every year because it’s important to keep in mind what kind of person I want to be and what kind of mindset and intentions will help me become that person.


It was a little harder than I thought to take a hard look at my progress with these resolutions, but it was good. I feel reinvigorated to achieve my goals and to become the person I want to be.

How are you doing on your goals and resolutions?
Do you have any tips for me on the ones that I’m slipping on?