Because you only live once?

As I’m in-between full-time jobs and/or possibly starting school in the fall (shhhhh), I have been more careful about where I spend my money than usual. (And I’m pretty frugal as it is.)

But you know what? Sometimes, experiences that cost money give you a lot more in return.
Also, I like to think that I’m investing in things to look forward to this year. Remember how I said that I said yes to more opportunities in 2013 and then didn’t do that in 2014? Well, time to say yes again.

Because I’ll admit, when I hit those mood lows, I don’t look forward to the next day, week, month, year, whatever. I get very stuck in the stress of living in the present and stressing over the past that I don’t even want to begin stressing about the future. It was really important during really difficult weeks of school for me to give myself something to look forward to at the end of the week so that I didn’t just give up in the middle of the week, no matter how much I wanted to. Even if it was something like: “Okay, Starr, you have three exams this week BUT if you survive them, you can buy an éclair for dessert on Friday. For lunch AND dinner if you want!” (Fact: I love éclairs.)

I hit a low like this last week. It wasn’t fun; I felt like I was just existing and it was getting really exhausting. Don’t get me wrong; there were no thoughts of self-harm involved here. You know that feeling at the end of a really long day when you barely want to change or wash up, you just want to collapse onto your bed and close your eyes and put the day behind you?
Take that and concentrate it and you’ll get an idea of what I was feeling. Very emotionally exhausted by life, specifically by worrying about life, and not seeing an end to that worrying anytime soon, which was exhausting to think about it and of itself. I just felt so… done. Spent.

So, this weekend, I’ve been giving myself things to look forward to, investing in myself for those days and weeks and months when I don’t want to do things and need to be forced to leave my room.

Here are a few things I have planned over the next few months that I’m pretty excited for!

  • March 22 – Kazuo Ishiguro reading and signing for The Buried Giant
    ishiguro-kazuo2014_640

    • I haven’t found a friend to attend this with yet, but maybe I should really work on being comfortable attending things alone?
    • Linking to his US book tour if you’re interested in an event in your city or mine!
  • March 27 – NSO Pops: Do You Hear the People Sing ft. Lea Salonga
    • I have never seen the NSO before and I love Lea Salonga, so I cannot communicate how excited I am for this!
  • April 8 – Christine & Karen‘s visit!
    • Super excited for them to come visit, especially because I actually have never attended the Cherry Blossom Festival!
  • May 17 – Color Run DC

    • I know, I know, I hate paying to run around, but apparently having money on the line is the only way to get me to practice evading kidnappers?
    • If you’re interested in joining me, I do have a team set up, so let me know 🙂
  • September 18 – Stromae concert
    • Tickets haven’t gone on sale yet but I’m excited to see Stromae in person!
    • Also I haven’t been to a concert in a long time, so this will be fun
    • Linking to his US tour if you’re interested in seeing him perform in your city or mine!

I have other things going on, but these are the things I’m locking down just this week.
(And also I’m just super excited for Karen and Christine to visit, but that’s been in the works for some time now!)

These are gifts to myself, to reward myself for just surviving. I wish I didn’t need it, but some days I do. And it’s important to treat yo self, right? I’m still learning to do this.

How are you planning to treat your self in the coming weeks?

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2 thoughts on “Because you only live once?

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